I got married last Saturday in a sweet, intimate ceremony. For the day, my now husband and I worked with our officiant to craft the script of the ceremony so that it would reflect us, the spirit of our relationship, and how we see love and marriage. We looked at a number of readings and poems, and while many of them were lovely, none of them fully spoke to what I wanted to have as the backdrop for this important ritual where we declared our intentions towards each other and our life together. And then I remembered how often I speak with clients about love and what Love actually says.
Our relationship with love and our understanding of love is far too often colored by fears, attachments, codependency, and what we see in movie scripts. The things we frequently hear said in the name of love can speak more of restriction, binding, confinement and obligation than what love is truly about.
But thanks to the teachers and the sages, we are reminded of what Love (big L, Love) is really about. Words from A Course in Miracles, the Tao Te Ching, Love Without Conditions, and so many others, bring us back to the truth of Love that we all know in our hearts.
I tried to capture that essence in the words that were read during our marriage ceremony, and I now share with you.
What love actually says
People say many things in the name of love.
But true love speaks with unbound generosity.
People say, I love you, so I want you with me.
Love says, I love you,
So, I want you to be free to go wherever you wish to go.
They say, if you love me, you will do this for me.
Love says, please be true to yourself.
I will be true to myself, and if…
Our aligned choices meet,
We will dance in the joy of it.
And, when they don’t,
We respect each other for honoring ourselves.
They say, I love you, you’re special.
Love says, I love you.
I see the Divine in you,
The perfect unfolding of creation in you,
As in everyone.
It is a mystery and a miracle to be here together.
People say, show me you love me by putting me first.
Love says, I love you.
I put love, truth, and freedom first,
Because my freedom supports your freedom.
People say, promise that you will be with me forever.
Love says, promise this…
That you will choose your highest good and greatest happiness.
And as we each walk our paths, we may just
Continue to weave them together.
In unconditional love,
And total freedom.
They say, love means to sacrifice.
Love says, there is no loss ever in loving.
Love is expansion,
And blessing,
And letting go.